Poltergeist

— Rogue Entity Encounters

Common Habitat: Kitchens, offices, garages, computers, places where you are already running late.
Appearance: Rarely observed directly.
Danger Level: Low.
Annoyance Level: Exceptional.

A Poltergeist is an entity that appears to have developed a personal disagreement with your plans.

The drawer worked yesterday.

Today, it does not.

Drawer + 1.

You pull harder.

It jams more enthusiastically.

You remove everything from it.

Nothing appears to be blocking it.

You put everything back.

The drawer works perfectly.

Poltergeist + 1.

This phenomenon is particularly common with printers.

A printer may function flawlessly for months.

Then you need one page.

Immediately.

The printer considers this unacceptable.

Paper jam.

No paper jam.

Ink error.

No ink error.

“Unknown Error.”

Excellent.

The entity has revealed itself.

Advanced Specimens

Poltergeists are known to become more powerful under time pressure.

They are particularly attracted to:

• Important appointments
• Guests arriving soon
• Deadlines
• Freshly cleaned floors
• White shirts
• The exact moment you have both hands full

They may also hide objects.

Keys are a favorite.

You place them somewhere sensible.

You search everywhere.

You find them exactly where you already looked.

Poltergeist + 5.

Field Note

Do not attempt to reason with a Poltergeist.

It does not negotiate.

It simply waits until you say:

“Fine. I’ll just do it the hard way.”

Then everything works.

This is considered one of its more sophisticated abilities.

Identification Test

Ask:

“Why does this only happen when I’m in a hurry?”

If the universe has no satisfactory answer—

you may have a Poltergeist.

Remain calm.

Turn the machine off.

Turn it back on.

Check the drawer.

Check your pockets.

Try again.

And remember:

Not every rogue entity is ancient, mysterious, or emotionally profound.

Some of them are apparently just here to make you late.

Field Note:
If the Poltergeist begins affecting Wi-Fi, escalate immediately.

There are limits to what a person should be expected to endure.