{"id":705,"date":"2026-08-17T19:45:10","date_gmt":"2026-08-17T19:45:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705"},"modified":"2026-08-18T22:11:46","modified_gmt":"2026-08-18T22:11:46","slug":"open-the-window-wider","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705","title":{"rendered":"Open the Window Wider"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">School of Conversation \u2014 Element of Rapport<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are questions that ask for a fact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cDid you go?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then there are questions that open a room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat happened when you got there?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Suddenly there is somewhere to walk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Shape of a Question<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Questions quietly determine the shape of the answers available.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cAre you angry?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Two obvious doors:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cHow are you feeling about what happened?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Many doors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Embarrassed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Relieved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All of the above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The second question gives the other person more room to tell you something you did not already anticipate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is the magic of the open question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Interrogator&#8217;s Ladder<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Closed questions are useful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Did you call?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Was anyone there?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Did you lock the door?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Excellent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But stack too many together:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cDid you talk to her?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWas she angry?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cKind of.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cDid you apologize?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cDid she accept?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI guess.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cHow long did you talk?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cTen minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Congratulations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You have successfully conducted a deposition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The other person has contributed almost nothing you did not specifically request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Open the Window<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cHow did the conversation go?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now they decide where to begin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cShe wasn&#8217;t angry like I expected. She mostly seemed tired.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You did not know to ask about tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is why open questions matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They allow information into the room that your existing map did not contain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask What, How, and Tell Me<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some of the easiest openers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cHow did you decide that?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat was that like?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat are you thinking?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cHow do you see it?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cTell me more about that.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Simple spells.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No need to make them ornate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Be Careful With \u201cWhy\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Why<\/strong> is technically open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It can also arrive wearing a badge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhy did you do that?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Depending on tone, the person may hear:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Explain yourself immediately.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes that&#8217;s appropriate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But if curiosity is the goal, another form may work better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhy didn&#8217;t you call?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat was happening that made calling difficult?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Same territory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Less courtroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don&#8217;t Put the Answer Inside the Question<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is a fake open question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cDon&#8217;t you think you&#8217;d be happier if you left?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We know what answer is being requested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat made you finally realize I was right?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Magnificent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The question has already held the trial and announced the verdict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A genuinely open question allows the possibility that the answer will surprise you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If no answer could change your understanding, you may not actually be asking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Curious Question<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cI think I&#8217;m going to quit.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You could ask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cDid your boss do something?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But you&#8217;ve introduced a theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat&#8217;s bringing you to that point?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe the boss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe exhaustion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe they received another offer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe they want to become a beekeeper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let reality answer before your assumptions do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask for Their Map<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When disagreement appears, questions can reveal the route the other person traveled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cHow are you getting from what happened to that conclusion?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is much more useful than:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cHow could you possibly think that?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One asks for the map.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The other announces that the map was drawn by an idiot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tone remains part of the spell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask About Importance<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes a person tells you a fact, but the significance is hidden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cShe didn&#8217;t invite me.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat does that mean to you?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cNothing. I just thought it was weird.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI think our friendship is over.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Very different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do not assume magnitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask About Preference<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When someone feels stuck:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat would you like to happen?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remarkably useful question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What is realistic?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What should happen?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What are you going to do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">First:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>What would you like?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe the answer is impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It still tells you where their heart is pointing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then reality can join the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask About Possibility<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another useful form:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat options do you see?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone may believe there are none.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat would you consider if you had more options?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat&#8217;s one possibility you haven&#8217;t ruled out?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Open questions can widen a map without telling someone which road to take.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">One Question at a Time<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is an enthusiastic failure mode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cHow did it go, what did she say, were you nervous, did you tell her about the job, and what are you going to do now?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The other person chooses one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You silently wonder why they ignored the other four.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ask one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then ask another if needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Conversation is not a questionnaire you need to complete before the timer expires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don&#8217;t Ask Questions You Don&#8217;t Want Answered<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat do you really think of me?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dangerous magic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps useful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But understand what you summoned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An open question creates room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Something may enter that you were not expecting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you only want reassurance, ask for reassurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do not disguise a desired answer as curiosity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Sometimes Stop Asking<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Questions can become a way of making the other person do all the emotional labor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They reveal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They reveal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eventually they may feel studied rather than accompanied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Offer something of yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Reflect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Respond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tell a story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Conversation should breathe in both directions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Question Behind the Question<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes the best move is to ask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat are you hoping I&#8217;ll understand?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat matters most about this to you?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These questions cut through enormous amounts of surface material.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A person may have spent twenty minutes describing what happened at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat matters most about this?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI think I&#8217;m scared I&#8217;m becoming someone I don&#8217;t like.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The door behind the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Mage&#8217;s Practice<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For one day, notice how many of your questions already contain the answers you expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then remove the answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cDid that make you angry?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat did that bring up for you?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cAre you going to leave?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat are you thinking about doing?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWas it because of the money?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cWhat changed?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then listen for something you could not have predicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is the gift of the open question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You stop forcing reality through a doorway exactly the width of your expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes you need a precise answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ask precisely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But when you genuinely want to know what another person sees\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>open the window wider.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>School of Conversation \u2014 Element of Rapport There are questions that ask for a fact. \u201cDid you go?\u201d Yes. No. Done. Then there are questions that open a room. \u201cWhat happened when you got there?\u201d Suddenly there is somewhere to walk. The Shape of a Question Questions quietly determine the shape of the answers available. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-physical-mage-skills"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Open the Window Wider - Depth Guide<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Open the Window Wider - Depth Guide\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"School of Conversation \u2014 Element of Rapport There are questions that ask for a fact. \u201cDid you go?\u201d Yes. No. Done. Then there are questions that open a room. \u201cWhat happened when you got there?\u201d Suddenly there is somewhere to walk. The Shape of a Question Questions quietly determine the shape of the answers available. [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Depth Guide\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-17T19:45:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-08-18T22:11:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"ifiockitsune\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"ifiockitsune\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"ifiockitsune\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/14b294ce600f58c067559a7da881ec5d\"},\"headline\":\"Open the Window Wider\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-17T19:45:10+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-08-18T22:11:46+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705\"},\"wordCount\":1068,\"commentCount\":0,\"articleSection\":[\"Physical Mage Skills\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705\",\"name\":\"Open the Window Wider - Depth Guide\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-17T19:45:10+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-08-18T22:11:46+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/14b294ce600f58c067559a7da881ec5d\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?p=705#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Open the Window Wider\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Depth Guide\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/14b294ce600f58c067559a7da881ec5d\",\"name\":\"ifiockitsune\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d97e9bc625f92dc0afa2630fc43ca1fbec835b8f0138d1addee73426f53060b5?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d97e9bc625f92dc0afa2630fc43ca1fbec835b8f0138d1addee73426f53060b5?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d97e9bc625f92dc0afa2630fc43ca1fbec835b8f0138d1addee73426f53060b5?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"ifiockitsune\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/depthguide.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Open the Window Wider - Depth Guide","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Open the Window Wider - Depth Guide","og_description":"School of Conversation \u2014 Element of Rapport There are questions that ask for a fact. \u201cDid you go?\u201d Yes. No. Done. Then there are questions that open a room. \u201cWhat happened when you got there?\u201d Suddenly there is somewhere to walk. The Shape of a Question Questions quietly determine the shape of the answers available. [&hellip;]","og_url":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705","og_site_name":"Depth Guide","article_published_time":"2026-08-17T19:45:10+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-08-18T22:11:46+00:00","author":"ifiockitsune","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"ifiockitsune"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705"},"author":{"name":"ifiockitsune","@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/#\/schema\/person\/14b294ce600f58c067559a7da881ec5d"},"headline":"Open the Window Wider","datePublished":"2026-08-17T19:45:10+00:00","dateModified":"2026-08-18T22:11:46+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705"},"wordCount":1068,"commentCount":0,"articleSection":["Physical Mage Skills"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705","url":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705","name":"Open the Window Wider - Depth Guide","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2026-08-17T19:45:10+00:00","dateModified":"2026-08-18T22:11:46+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/#\/schema\/person\/14b294ce600f58c067559a7da881ec5d"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?p=705#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Open the Window Wider"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/","name":"Depth Guide","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/#\/schema\/person\/14b294ce600f58c067559a7da881ec5d","name":"ifiockitsune","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d97e9bc625f92dc0afa2630fc43ca1fbec835b8f0138d1addee73426f53060b5?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d97e9bc625f92dc0afa2630fc43ca1fbec835b8f0138d1addee73426f53060b5?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d97e9bc625f92dc0afa2630fc43ca1fbec835b8f0138d1addee73426f53060b5?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"ifiockitsune"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/depthguide.com"],"url":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/?author=1"}]}},"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=705"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":706,"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions\/706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/depthguide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}